Sunday, February 20, 2005

Things I can do while breastfeeding:

Read magazines
Read small paperback novels
Read reasonable-sized trade paperbacks (with some difficulty)
Answer the phone (if someone handy picks it up and passes it to me)
Eat dinner (only occasionally balancing dinner plate on baby)
Turn radio on and off (if sitting in correct chair)
Write in notebook (if feeding on left breast)
Check email (if laptop set up correctly beforehand)
Gaze lovingly at unreasonably cute baby
Watch previously taped episodes of silly soap operas (only allowed between 11:30pm & 6am)
Carry on nonchalant conversation with people who have never seen my breasts before (and probably never expected to)
Stand up and move to another room without detaching baby (but have both hands full and therefore can't do anything when I get there)

Things I can't do while breastfeeding:

Read substantial trade paperbacks (eg. Best of Anthologies)
Read newspaper
Answer the phone (if home alone)
Blow my nose
Eat dinner without spilling something on baby's new outfit
Write in notebook (if feeding on right breast)
Think like a sane person